I can specifically remember the day that preservatives invaded and subsequently ruined my life. I was all of seven years old getting ready to enjoy the best part of my day. This would be breakfast time. The time of the day that I can heartily consume massive amounts of sugar under the specific guidance of my Mother. Spoonfuls of sweet marshmallows flakes and puffed whatever...
I never had a favorite cereal. I had favorite cereals. Lucky Charms, Honey Combs, Cookie Crisp, just to name a few. The thing that got me was how the consistency of the cereal would absorb the milk so rapidly. Yes, I am of the camp that prefers a soggy cereal to a crunchy cereal. I might have lost a bunch of you right here already. But I shall continue. It was as sure as the day was long. If I gave it a couple minutes my morning treats would be soggy and ready for inhalation.
That is the day that it became more prudent and efficient for the shelf life of cereals to last more than six months. Some smart guy with a suit, and I'm sure another smart guy with a lab coat came up with a plan that would secure their employment for the end of days. I will now play this scene out.
Executive 1- "Hey Morty, did you come up with something that will secure our jobs for next year?"
Corporate Scientist- "As a matter of fact sir, not only did I come up with an idea that will secure our jobs for next year, but for all our years to come."
Exec utive 1- "Oh goody!"
Corporate Scientist- "So remember last year when I accidently dumped all those preservatives in that batch of Honey Combs?"
Executive 1- "Nope."
Corporate Scientist- "Well I did, and for craps and giggles I decided to see how long they would stay crunchy. And now it's going on 1 year and they still are technically edible."
Executive 1- "Are you telling me we can produce less and make the same amount of money?"
Corporate Scientist- "That's right."
Executive 1- "That is tubular!"
Corporate Scientist- "huh?"
Executive 1- "It's a cool new word I heard my son say."
Corporate Scientist- "uh... Ok..."
Executive 1- "Anyways, I'm glad I thought of this new preservative idea."
Corporate Scientist- "Right..."
Executive 2 enters the lab
Executive 2- "Hey Johnny Boy!"
Executive 1- "Barry you old so and so!"
Executive 2- "Hey will you help me bury a hooker?"
Executive 1- "Anything for a Lambda Chi Brother!"
The Executives high fived and my life has never been then same. Perhaps Its better this happened. No things good are meant to last. However, Just as the Earth turns and the the Sun sets, innovation will bring more delicious treats to the future. And ladies and gentleman, that future is now.
Alessi World Famous Bakery is proud to present the OOEY GOOEY BUTTER BARS.
One full case of 40 Bars.
A gooey buttery base topped with a mouth watering rich cream cheese and pecan filling.
Alessi Bakeries- Where Quality Has Ruled Since 1912.
Additional Images
Single Packet
Closeup
No comments:
Post a Comment