However, due to time constrains this is the best I got ...
Circa 2005
after a scrumptious Greek Feast filled with soulvaki I found a very
familiar craving pulling at my sweet tooth. This impulse was created
by the sense memory of a chocolaty, chewy, fresh-baked treat that I
have neutered since early childhood. The All-American Chocolate Chip
Cookie. A desert perfect in every way. Now the problem a treat
coinsure like myself runs into on occasion is the quality of such
items. My feelings towards Chocolate Chip Cookies are the same I have
toward Computer equipment. You get what you pay for. I have been
known to shell out as much as two dollars for one cookie.
On
the drive home after making a special trip to an amazing cookie bakery
I have all but devoured three of the six cookies I purchased. I'm not
sure about the rest of you, but I love the idea of having a sweet treat
before I go to bed. My waistline and the women that don't notice me
agree it's most likely a habit I need to quit. However, for my money
it doesn't get better then a sweet desert kiss before bed.
Flash
forward later that night. All of my earthly business has been
accomplished for the day. Only one thing left to do ... Salivating at
the anticipation of my midnight addiction I stammer to my kitchen. I
open the cupboard and find my prize. Ripping into the bag like a child
on Christmas morning I don't pause once I feel the cookie in my mitts.
The first of my three cookies are all but devoured in seconds. Oh the
taste, the wincing sweetness, the unexpected texture. I have
missile-lock on cookie number two. One bite, two bites, gone ... And
at last the third cookie has moments before its
demise.
Contemplating the last savory treat in my hands I become
all so aware of a strange sensation enveloping my hands. It isn't the
cold. Perhaps it's my arms awakening after being leaned after a couple
hours on the computer. No that's not it, because the feeling is
strictly isolated to my hand, not my whole arm. After a moment of
bewilderment my next course of action is to inspect the mystery feeling
in a more lit part of the kitchen
Walking to the kitchen sink I
let my eyes adjust to the bulb illuminating the one part of the
kitchen. Like stepping into the spotlight of some macabre one man show
I look down to see the source of my distress. As my eyes focus I try
to convince myself out of what I'm looking at. Scurrying with mad
frenzy, my hand and wrist is covered with black ants. Not just a
couple of black ants. What could easy add to about 75 microscopic
ants, my hands have turned into a pseudo insect mosh pit.
As I
let out a school-girlish whelp I quickly ran my hands under the now
flowing water of the sink. After properly evacuating the bastards off
my hands, I was left with only one question. Now in retrospect I
should have never asked myself this question. Where did these things
come from?
As quick as I asked the question I immediately wanted
to deny what ultimately would be the truth. I stepped back to the
cupboard and looked into the cookie bag with dramatic flair usually
reserved for the most clich of horror movies. Yes kids, the cookie
bag had about four hundred black ants. At first I wanted to believe
that there might be a chance I could have eaten two sugar infused
treats without ingesting any ants, but common sense told me
better.
I mostly likely consumed five hundred ants in those
first two cookies. How I managed to get them down without noticing
their presence still remains a mystery to me. Lesson learned, always
look at what you're about to eat. Trust me on this one.
And to
protect your open beverages we are proud to present the Bottle
Top.
A plastic adaptor that fastens on top of your soda can to
preserve its integrity.
Helps Avoid Spills.
Fits Most
Beverage Cans.
Just Wash and Re-Use.
Keeps Carbonation
Longer.
Set of 12 with Assorted
Colors.
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It's an actual flashlight with 6 ultra-bright LED bulbs, but its also a
