Tomato Topsy Turvey

Is it a badge of honor to measure ourselves with the rest of
our knuckle-dragging Cro-Magnon brethren? I speak only from the male
point of view however; I have been accused of being suspiciously in
touch with my feminine side so hopefully I will be able to tap into the
female mindset as well.



Women want to see a bit of themselves in
us. They want to believe, against all odds that no matter how
disgusting we seem to be, we still share a fraction of their delicate
disposition. Whether it is to pause to absorb the beauty of a freshly
blooming flower, or the ability to reason a $400 price tag on a leather
purse. They want us to understand their insanity. No matter how
fabricated or disingenuous, women want us to be as crazy and
disillusioned as them. What? So it's completely acceptable for us to
fake caring? The answer is yes. They don't care how the cow is
slaughtered, they want the burger.



We do it all the time in our
society. We ignore primal reactions for social conventions. It's the
"don't rock the boat" syndrome. It's wanting to plunge an icepic in
your neighbors face for stealing your paper. It's wanting to call
someone a chocolate covered douche bag for not saying "thank you" whilst
opening the door for them. It's wanting to kick the face of the turd
badger bank teller for closing her stupid little venetian blind
partition to the drive-up window one minute till 6:00.



On a primal level we want to do these things. Anarchy is a fun idea.
Especially for disaffected youth at punk rock shows. We suppress these
reflexes for social convention. That and the fear of spending a few
nights in county. On the same token we feign feelings with the same
vigor as we suppress them. Men ask themselves, "How can I make myself
seem sensitive?" This question is utterly ridiculous. From when I was a
young boy, I was encouraged to follow my heart, and be myself. But that
aint gonna help me. It has been proven over and over again. If you
want to get ahead, get paid, or get lucky, you will have to start being
something that every urge in your body rejects. So if you want to seem
more sensitive, buy this "TOPSEY TURVY" Tomato grower thing.
Imagine the first moment when she notices a mini garden hanging from
your window. It says "wow, this guy likes to garden in a convenient and
easy way." I really want to be naked in his presence
now.



Description



Grow Sweet Tomatoes Right Outside your Door!



Hangs on Deck, Balcony or Patio.



Eliminates Hours of Work and Makes Picking Berries Easy.



Grow Organic Too!



Uses gravity as a vertical growing advantage.



Vertical grow bag heats the plant like a greenhouse so
the root system explodes.



Gravity pulls the water and nutrients
directly to the roots.